Why??

Why will Rich never understand all the hurt he has caused me? I know "why", but I don't know why! Really bites having to deal with all the emotions and hearing him say it's all in the "past" for him. It's far from that way for me! I wrote a 4 1/2 page letter "to" him today. Probably will never mail it, but at least it got a lot of my frustrations out! It made me feel better to "tell" him about all the pain he has caused and how my life will never be the same because of it! Actually, the last couple weeks have been pretty good aside from Rich not having a clue about what it is he has actually done. I've done a lot of reading and working at my job part-time. Still wish I could find something more full time, but that will come when the time is right. I also have been trying to stay involved with friends and going places. My life seems actually kind of nice at the moment. Wired to say that in so much crap that has happened in the past month. It is nice to have a couple weeks, though to just kind of be myself again. Maybe the drugs are working...hehe!! There's really a lot to look forward to this month: Stephanie will finally be as old as me (lol), one of cousins will celebrate a birthday, my son will become a teenager (god help me!), and I will get to see a bunch of family at the end of the month when I go for a family reunion weekend. I am really starting to look forward to that. I think it does help to not have to worry if my significant other would be going or not. And, if he's not, worrying about what he's doing while I'm gone. Thank god I don't have to deal with that any longer!! In the meantime, I'm just waiting for my next prince charming to find me! I'm not ready for him to come at the moment, but I know he's gotta be out there somewhere. If not, it's always fun to "window shop"!