Baby Steps

It has certainly been a month of tough lessons. I never knew God thought I could handle so much, yet somehow I seem to be passing the test this far. I have joined a divorce support group to help me with the emotions of what has been going on. I think it is going to be something that will be extremely helpful to me, both in coming to terms with what has happend, and also to help me understand that I am not alone in this. Several times I have thought that if I just hadn't gotten married I wouldn't be going through such a difficult time. I loved Rich very much though, and honestly, I still do. However, there were things that I was just not willing to compromise on, and in the end, morals and values wouldn't allow me to compromise on. I wish daily that there could be reconciliation, but know there will probably never be. Unfortunately, he may never know just how much I have been hurt through all this, or what suffering I have done by taking a stand for what I believe in. My heart hurts daily and as I said even though I have been hurt in the worst possible way, I still unconditionally love Rich. He was a huge part of my life for 4 years and a person doesn't just turn emotions off when things end. At least I don't. Things have started to look up for me, and for Preston. I found a job working part-time and that has been a blessing. The best part is that I get off work before Preston gets out of school, which is awesome. We also have really gotten in to Bible studies and going to church. Preston will joining the church soon, and I am extrememly excited about that! He's a great kid and I am so blessed to have him in my life! We also have been spending more time with friends and going out and doing things. Somedays are harder than others to make myself do this, but once I do, I'm glad I did.