Happy New Year......almost!

Ok, so I've really started to not be so great at blogging!! I'm not sure why cause I'm always on the computer.
Anyway, I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Mine was pretty good. I was pretty stressed out about it to bring with. My Christmas shopping was not going well, (which I know is not the point of the season) and at this time last year, things with my son were, well....shaky at best! I really can't say I was in the Christmas spirit this year, unfortunately!!
I did end up having a good day, and even a good week with my son! It just was very hard to know how this week was going to go and even if it would be the complete week. Thankfully it went well and was the whole week.
Thank you to those of you who have prayed for us this year!! It has been stressful and many times NO fun, but I think we are goiong to make it. I have one more week before re-joining the "real world" so it will be nice to just relax and hopefully catch up on a little more writing. I've been wanting to do that the whole time I've been home, but haven't do so yet.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wow! I thought I had blogged at least once this month....guess that's what I get for thinking. :) For those who read this Happy Thanksgiving!! I LOVE Thanksgiving! It's just a great time to be with friends and family without all the stress of parties and gift giving.
November for some reason has been a very busy month for me. Seems like I have just really been on the go and doing things a lot, which is good. Gives me less time to get in a depressed state.
One of the biggest events of the month was my 35th birthday. I know most people would NOT be that excited about getting older. For me though, another birthday means another year that I have "made it". You see, for those who don't know me and may be reading this, I wasn't supposed to live to be 18. Well, I have gone well past 18 and that gives me such a feeling of satisfaction! I have 2 great parents who were determined from the "get go" to do what they could for me. I also have an amazing God who blessed me with my parents and lots and lots of wonderful people along the way!! Thank you!!
I'm thinking of starting a book. I'm not going to say at this point what it might be about, but it's been on my mind for awhile. Actually, there are 2 different books I COULD write, I just don't know how to get started on either one. A very wonderful man who I met about 3 yrs ago told me at one time: "just start writing". Good advice!! We will see in the upcoming weeks if either of my ideas take shape.

It's been a busy couple of weeks! About 2 weeks ago I went to spend the weekend with a friend. After my own unintentional (and thankfully unsucessful) shot at "NASCAR" driving on country roads, I finally made it to the amazing farm my friend and his family live on. I always have such an AMAZING time when I go see this particular friend that I always come away wondering "why"? I'll leave it at that for now, but honestly, I always have the BEST time with this friend and hope there are more times down the road (although not the NASCAR road haha) to get together!!

My son spent the weekend with me last weekend. I was soooo nervous before he even set foot in the house! It has literally been almost a year since we had been under the same roof. There was a lot to be worried about in my mind, so I did what I do best and worry..... Thankfully, the weekend turned out WAY better then I could've hoped for. We may have turned a corner, but it is too early to tell if this is actually going to get the "happy ending" or not.

Somehow I'm thinking this weekend may actually be a let down from the last 2 weekends of excitement. I'm sure I'll be able to keep myself busy, but with every thing that has been going on recently, it's going to be interesting not having something "big" going on. Hhhhmmm.....maybe I'll just sleep! :D

News that turned out good

I got a call the other day from my doctor that one of my tests didn't come back to good and could I come in and see him. "Sure," I said trying not to sound worried. Ok, so we all know I worry about everything and I knew what the "bad" test results meant. So, I go in yesterday taking my mom for moral support. Doctor comes in, looks at my lab results and note from previous doctor and realizes he made a mistake! Can I just say I have NEVER been more happy than I was yesterday about a doctor making a mistake!!
Good news in short is my auto-immune/musclar disease is STILL in "remission" (or not active at this time) which means even more I don't have to start taking prednisone again! THANK GOD!!!!!!!! Sure, it has helped get everything under control when I have taken it, but it also makes me gain 400lbs (or feels like it), and causes me to be mean and cranky. So glad things turned out to be good news. We will hope for the same in 6 months when I have to have the "normal" blood work done.
In other news, Tomorrow the first nine weeks of school is over. It doesn't seem like I have been "in school" for that long. Time sure flies when you're (sorta) having fun! Actually, I really do like my job and am having a great time with the kiddos I'm working with.

Remember me??

I'm 2 months into my "new" job and loving it! The school and the kids are a lot of fun!! I'm really drained when I get home in the evenings and have started going to bed early because of it. I'm still doing some of my other activities, but I've had to cut back too.
I was having a lot of trouble with my depression recently, but that seems to be doing better for now. I guess a lot of it has to do with not being done working through "the process" of a couple things have happened in my life over the last couple years. Every time I think I'm done with the "process" something comes back to bite me in the butt, so then I have to re-group. Some times I just feel so lonely and that gets me really down! Thank god for meds I suppose.....AND good friends!!!!
I'm going to try and blog more often. I do know that writing as always helped, so I'm going to make an effort to blog more often. It may not be very exciting, but I'll give it a shot!

Update for Sept

I just finished reading my friend Dawn's blog and thought I should probably post since it's again been awhile. I was going to write about a (STUPID) conversation I had the other day with a gal, but I think I'm tired enough for it to not make sense if I try and write it at the moment. Guess I'll save it for a future blog.
I'm working at a different school this year and LOVING it! I have "graduated" to 1st grade and Kindergarten....figure that one out! I'm soooo glad school has started again. I think summer was started to make me a very moody girl!
I am going to be bowling out of town this year, which I have done before. Our bowling alley is closed again, so the team I bowl with is bowling out of town again. Should be fun, unfortunately, I know I'm going to miss several times which stinks!
Things with my son are (CAUTIOUSLY) better or heading in the right direction at this time. Hopefully, they will continue to head that way.

Suggestions?

Summer is quickly coming to an end! Am I getting old or is summer just getting shorter? I return back to work in about 4 days. Thankgoodness!! This summer has not been what I had hoped for.
This past Monday I had to put my 7 month old puppy to sleep. She had, had a complication from surgery. I had the choice of more surgery, but no one knew if she would make it through as she was still weak from the first surgery. If she did make it, it was unsure what kind of life she would have after. I know I did the right thing, but it still totally sucks!
I feel like I've gone through so much loss in the past 2 yrs. From my divorce to losing my son to my most recent of losing my puppy. Ok, so there's bigger things then a puppy, but it's a loss. I just don't know if I can handle much more. I try and think positive, but I also keep thinking "what's next"? What/Who am I going to have to say "goodbye" to next. Most of the time I feel so sad and lonely. I try and stay in contact with friends, but there's not much people can say or do. Either that or they don't want to get involved.....idk! Idk....I feel like I'm really struggling right now. Maybe going back to work is going to help give me something to do. At least I will have somewhere to go everyday.